People don’t watch the Oscars to be reminded of the humdrum routine and struggle of their daily lives.
Most people want to believe that their current situation is not their fault. If they were as good looking as all the beautiful people in Hollywood, or as rich, or as — whatever — then life would be easy!
On the other hand, people also read the tabloids where their favorite Hollywood stars are exposed and torn down.
What’s going on there? I’m not sure. But I suspect it’s a companion feeling of “Ha, you thought you’re so good looking, rich and smart? Well, you’re really not much better than me.”
In both scenarios, the average person sees himself as worse off. Disadvantaged. Hardly to be blamed.
So when Ben Affleck dropped a dose of Reality into his Oscar acceptance speech, a whole bunch of people got all worked up.
In case you missed it: (I read about it somewhere else. I’ve never watched the Oscars, myself) Affleck thanked his wife, but not with empty praise and platitudes.
He said:
“I want to thank you for working on our marriage for 10 Christmasses. It’s good, it is work, but it’s the best kind of work, and there’s no one I’d rather work with.”
In short, Ben Affleck shared that a good marriage requires work.
Wait – a good looking, rich couple like that needs to work on their marrriage?
Can’t be.
And so instead of hearing Affleck’s thank you for what it really is, it sparked all sorts of speculation that the Afflecks are having marriage problems.
“Ben Affleck marriage problems” began to trend on the Internet. A writer at Salon.com belched “Save it for the couch, Ben!”
In other words, it’s wrong to expose people to Reality at a time and place where they are looking for escape.
It’s wrong to tell them that their current situation might not be because of something lacking in their looks or finances, but because they’re not working hard enough, or they’re working hard on the wrong things.
I’ve been in the entrepreneurial business consulting, coaching and information product world for about 13 years now. And I’ve seen a clear divide:
There are those ‘gurus’ and experts who are essentially showmen.
And there are ‘gurus’ and experts who truly care.
The former attract fans.
The latter attract students.
The fans get excited about their guru. Whether they realize it or not, their hope is that by rubbing elbows with the guru (read: spending lots and lots of money) something of that fairytale life will rub off on them.
But the student seeks a master. Someone who will make him better, not just make him feel good. When a student watches the Oscars, if he does, it’s to see what he can learn, absorb and imitate.
None of us are immune from the occasional fantasy that our lives really should be effortless and that others have it better and easier than we do.
But the richness of life goes to the student.
You don’t need to be superman, super-rich or super good looking.
You need to be real. To believe in yourself. And to know that over time things will fall into place.
Your comment on this blog will enrich the conversation.
