“A cat who sits on a hot stove will never sit on a hot stove again.

But he won’t sit on a cold stove, either.”

- Mark Twain

When the know-it-all pontificator looks down her nose and says “Never make the same mistakes twice!” I grunt and run.

Like any of us haven’t made the same mistake again, and again, and again before FINALLY figuring it out.

Like Mark Twain’s cat, if I sit on a hot stove, I won’t sit there again. But that’s because it suddenly became crystal clear that I did something stupid – and I know exactly what it was.

But when you’re growing your business and dealing with all that’s involved in creating a great product and then actually selling it – you’re not talking about sitting on a stove.  You’re talking about walking confidently forward because the path looks clear – only to crash through a glass door you couldn’t see.

And so it’s only those of us who persevere long enough to make the same mistakes many, many, many times who wake up one day and suddenly “get it.”

That’s how I learned to speed up the sales process…

For years I thought that if I show people how smart I am they’ll want to buy from me. So I gave great advice.  And people saw how smart I was.  But they didn’t buy.

I made this mistake many, many times before I finally realized what I was doing: I was asking my prospects to skip a step.

There are four psychological “Levels” your prospects must pass through before deciding to buy:

1. Your prospect ‘raises his hand’ because something you said or did piqued his curiosity. You connected with him in a way that leads him to want to hear more.

2. Your prospect learns more about you, your company and products.  He comes to feel that yes, you folks know your stuff.

3. Your prospect shares his personal situation. He needs to get to a place where he feels you really understand him.

4. You make a recommendation and close the deal.

These four levels are just reality. It doesn’t matter what you sell, your prospect must pass through each of these Levels  - in order. If you sell coffee it may take a minute.  If you sell military helicopters, it may take a year or more.  But they MUST ALWAYS pass through these Levels.

I was losing deals because I couldn’t see this simple breakdown of reality. Since I couldn’t see the ‘hot stove’ I didn’t know what I was doing wrong. And when you can’t see reality, you break yourself against it again and again and again – until you do.

Today, my mistake is clear: I was recommending – a Level 4 activity – before my prospect had passed through Levels 2 and 3.

Now, the glass door you keep walking through may be different from mine. But what’s happening is that in your own way, you’re breaking yourself against reality and it’s hurting  your sales.

To speed up the pace of your sales, slow down and walk your prospect through one Level at a time. Refuse to talk about your product before they’ve passed through Levels 2 and 3.  And when you do this, your sales will happen faster.

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I’m going to create some more free training that will teach you how to systematically and consistently attract more first-rate customers, but I need to know what you want me to include. So please answer the 3 questions here.

Note: This article was originally published on SMBCEO.com.

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Have the requirements for leadership changed?

Is it true that “The time of the great leaders like Churchill, JFK, FDR, and Golda Meir, is over because the world is too complex for one individual to know everything”?

Is it true that “One of the things that people need to master now is… not only to be like Reagan and Martin Luther King who were great speakers, but also to be a great listener”?

In a recent video my colleague, Thomas Zweifel, argues “yes” to all these questions.  I disagree.

The Dangerous Myth of the “New.”

How many times do we need to fall for the myth of the “New?”  A New World Order.  A New Economy.   A New Middle East. And now “New requirements for great leadership.” In centuries past there were the snake oil salesmen and their “new” magic ointments and today we have spammers and their new magic pills.

But, as King Solomon noted some 3,000 years ago, none of this is new.

No, King Solomon didn’t have an iPhone or a Blackberry.  (At least, I don’t think he did.) He didn’t have the Internet or a nuclear war head. And he certainly didn’t tweet.  But changes like these are superficial.

Then as Now, Great Leaders See Beneath the Surface.

In the days following World War One, Woodrow Wilson spoke of “A New World Order.” We all know how that turned out.

It’s human nature to be deceived by the superficial. We see things change and we want to believe it will all be good now. (Well, except for those who want to believe it will all be bad.)

We want to believe that the candidate across the desk will be a great employee. We want to believe this big deal will come through. We want to believe… Heck we want to believe a lot of things that just aren’t true. And so we tell ourselves and each other all kinds of stories.

But when you pull back the curtain and look at the mechanics, you see that the complex forces motivating human behavior are what they’ve always been.

Legendary leaders see patterns, forces and the big picture. And they live accordingly, even in the face of ridicule and fierce opposition. Eventually, we see it too and realize their greatness.

It’s unfair to Reagan, Martin Luther King and the others singled out, to suggest it was their oratory skill that made them great leaders.

Reagan was great because he saw what others didn’t. Communism was inching around the globe and many leaders resigned themselves to a “new reality.”

But Reagan saw communism’s evil and recognized that one day it would collapse under its own weight. Despite ridicule, opposition and threats, he lived true to what he saw.  The whole world is better off as result.

Leaders DON’T Need to Know Everything, and They Never Did

The world has always been too complex for one individual to know everything.

Great leaders simplify. They looked beneath the cacophony and asked “What’s really going on underneath?” “Where are the points of highest leverage?”

Warren Buffett was ridiculed during the early days of the “New Economy.” Many laughed, believing new technology meant things have changed.

Buffett guides himself with disciplined adherence to unchanging fundamentals and has become a legend in his own lifetime. But Buffett understood that the underlying mechanics never change.  And look who had the last laugh.

How to Build Your Competitive Advantage

And so, you can use this to your advantage. Notice how your competitors get excited about what’s new.  But you – you just smile and ask “How will these superficial development be influenced by that which never changes?”  Help your customers see the unseen and they’ll never leave you.

Over the past months I’ve seen several entrepreneurs trying to squeeze into the old, worn pants they know, but which no longer fit. However, unlike the kid who’s ashamed of his appearance, these entrepreneurs think they look dashing.

Customers don’t want to embarrass him, so they quietly go elsewhere. His employees try to tell him, but he knows better, so they shrug and go back to work.

“My employees don’t see the full picture. If they had to juggle all the competing priorities the way I have to, they would stop complaining.  They should focus on doing their jobs and let me do mine.”

And so the waist gets tighter and the cuffs further from the shoes.

He adds suspenders, elastic or even duct tape.  Anything but a change.

It’s true that your employees don’t see the full picture the way you do. And they don’t have the same pressures and responsibilities you have. But they do see you and your behavior with a clarity you may lack.

If you find that you’re always super busy, feel pulled in a million directions, fighting one crisis after another, you’re not wearing the right size pants.

I remember coaching a small business owner who continued to fall back on “the pants” he knew so well: moving sacks of cloth from here to there.  He should have never have been doing such insignificant work.

But when it came to doing what would grow his business, make it fun and give him the personal freedom he deserved and badly wanted, he was murky. My job was to help make those tasks just as clear; to help him find and wear a new pair of pants that make him look and feel good.

What are the symptoms? How do you know if it’s time?

- If you have a frequent feeling of being pulled in a thousand directions and you’re unable to invest big chunks of time in high value work.

- If you’re unable to find or keep good employees.

- If you have difficulty attracting a steady flow of customers who want your products because they see you as distinct and better in some way.

It’s a part of growing: We all need a change from time to time.