Comments on: How to Control and Direct Any Conversation. (Very useful for landing AAA customers.) http://dovgordon.net/how-to-control-and-direct-any-conversation/ Helping you attract a steady, consistent, predictable flow of new customers and clients. Sat, 04 Feb 2012 22:23:13 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Dov Gordon http://dovgordon.net/how-to-control-and-direct-any-conversation/comment-page-1/#comment-310 Dov Gordon Tue, 20 Jul 2010 19:23:24 +0000 http://dovgordon.net/?p=475#comment-310 Dina, as I said above, you are technically correct except you described the second step. First: Notice that the client is talking about the means / how and not the desired result. So you elegantly move him back to focus on the results he really wants. Second: Now that you know the desired results and you're not there today, you look to see if the situation requires Problem Solving, Decision Making, Planning or Innovating and then you follow the most appropriate process. Thanks again for chiming in, Dov Dina, as I said above, you are technically correct except you described the second step.

First: Notice that the client is talking about the means / how and not the desired result.

So you elegantly move him back to focus on the results he really wants.

Second: Now that you know the desired results and you’re not there today, you look to see if the situation requires Problem Solving, Decision Making, Planning or Innovating and then you follow the most appropriate process.

Thanks again for chiming in,
Dov

]]> By: Dov Gordon http://dovgordon.net/how-to-control-and-direct-any-conversation/comment-page-1/#comment-309 Dov Gordon Tue, 20 Jul 2010 19:19:01 +0000 http://dovgordon.net/?p=475#comment-309 Axel, you came so very close. Yes, he's raising his hand and asking for help. Help to achieve what results - that's the key. Thanks for participating. Dov Axel, you came so very close. Yes, he’s raising his hand and asking for help. Help to achieve what results – that’s the key.

Thanks for participating.

Dov

]]> By: Dov Gordon http://dovgordon.net/how-to-control-and-direct-any-conversation/comment-page-1/#comment-308 Dov Gordon Tue, 20 Jul 2010 19:15:16 +0000 http://dovgordon.net/?p=475#comment-308 Chris - you hit the nail on the head. The Lesson: In almost every conversation you have with someone they're going to be asking about, advocating, or impugning a MEANS to an END. What almost always happens is that we get into a discussion or an argument about the MEANS. What we should do FIRST is step back and find out if we even agree as to the END. There's no point in arguing if we should take the subway or drive if we haven't agreed on our destination. In this situation, Robert's client wants to hire someone full time. (Hiring is a means to an end.) WHY? What will be different? The answer to these questions is the END his client really wants. If we get caught up in a discussion about hiring a full timer or not, we're about to discuss everything but the RESULTS the client really wants. Dov Chris – you hit the nail on the head.

The Lesson: In almost every conversation you have with someone they’re going to be asking about, advocating, or impugning a MEANS to an END.

What almost always happens is that we get into a discussion or an argument about the MEANS. What we should do FIRST is step back and find out if we even agree as to the END.

There’s no point in arguing if we should take the subway or drive if we haven’t agreed on our destination.

In this situation, Robert’s client wants to hire someone full time. (Hiring is a means to an end.) WHY? What will be different? The answer to these questions is the END his client really wants.

If we get caught up in a discussion about hiring a full timer or not, we’re about to discuss everything but the RESULTS the client really wants.

Dov

]]> By: Axel Baumgarten http://dovgordon.net/how-to-control-and-direct-any-conversation/comment-page-1/#comment-306 Axel Baumgarten Tue, 20 Jul 2010 09:49:40 +0000 http://dovgordon.net/?p=475#comment-306 Chris, you make perfect sense - so well done from my side! Lets see what Dov says. Chris, you make perfect sense – so well done from my side! Lets see what Dov says.

]]> By: Chris Khoo http://dovgordon.net/how-to-control-and-direct-any-conversation/comment-page-1/#comment-305 Chris Khoo Tue, 20 Jul 2010 05:39:22 +0000 http://dovgordon.net/?p=475#comment-305 Oh that's easy - I hope I'm right :-). The customer is talking about the "how", and the vendor is bringing the customer back to the "what" in order to determine the real objectives. Chris Oh that’s easy – I hope I’m right :-) .

The customer is talking about the “how”, and the vendor is bringing the customer back to the “what” in order to determine the real objectives.

Chris

]]> By: Axel Baumgarten http://dovgordon.net/how-to-control-and-direct-any-conversation/comment-page-1/#comment-302 Axel Baumgarten Mon, 19 Jul 2010 17:20:03 +0000 http://dovgordon.net/?p=475#comment-302 Dov, Thanks for this post and I am answering this without reading the above comments which makes it twice as exciting. I have to admit it was a bit confusing at first and took me re-reading the article. But I think then I got the plot. I would identify the underlying structure as the customer sending out a message that they need Robert' s help which he did not get first time round. It is almost like the customer raising a hand in the middle of a crowd and begging for attention. So now I will read the above comments and your replies. All the best, Axel Dov,
Thanks for this post and I am answering this without reading the above comments which makes it twice as exciting.
I have to admit it was a bit confusing at first and took me re-reading the article. But I think then I got the plot.
I would identify the underlying structure as the customer sending out a message that they need Robert’ s help which he did not get first time round. It is almost like the customer raising a hand in the middle of a crowd and begging for attention.

So now I will read the above comments and your replies.

All the best,

Axel

]]> By: Dov Gordon http://dovgordon.net/how-to-control-and-direct-any-conversation/comment-page-1/#comment-298 Dov Gordon Mon, 19 Jul 2010 08:33:31 +0000 http://dovgordon.net/?p=475#comment-298 Hi Dina, That a very good analysis. You are technically correct. I am looking for something even more simple, though. You're headed in the right direction and you're almost there. ;-) Dov Hi Dina,

That a very good analysis. You are technically correct.

I am looking for something even more simple, though. You’re headed in the right direction and you’re almost there. ;-)

Dov

]]> By: Dina http://dovgordon.net/how-to-control-and-direct-any-conversation/comment-page-1/#comment-297 Dina Mon, 19 Jul 2010 08:24:46 +0000 http://dovgordon.net/?p=475#comment-297 Which structure are they at on the management map? Customer: The words she says are in decision making/planning (and that's where she THINKS she is). How can we get even deeper with this? Let's hire someone. Where she ACTUALLY is, is in problem solving. There's a gap between where we are now and where we want to be. What is the best way to bridge that gap? Robert (outsourcer): If he answers what she SAYS, in decision making, he is not addressing where she IS, problem solving. The result- frustration and wheel grinding. If he answers where she is, they can move forward to decision making together, and hopefully decide to hire Robert for some more in-depth services:) Which structure are they at on the management map?

Customer: The words she says are in decision making/planning (and that’s where she THINKS she is). How can we get even deeper with this? Let’s hire someone.

Where she ACTUALLY is, is in problem solving. There’s a gap between where we are now and where we want to be. What is the best way to bridge that gap?

Robert (outsourcer): If he answers what she SAYS, in decision making, he is not addressing where she IS, problem solving. The result- frustration and wheel grinding.

If he answers where she is, they can move forward to decision making together, and hopefully decide to hire Robert for some more in-depth services:)

]]> By: Tweets that mention The Alchemist Entrepreneur » How to Control and Direct Any Conversation. (Very useful for landing AAA customers.) -- Topsy.com http://dovgordon.net/how-to-control-and-direct-any-conversation/comment-page-1/#comment-296 Tweets that mention The Alchemist Entrepreneur » How to Control and Direct Any Conversation. (Very useful for landing AAA customers.) -- Topsy.com Mon, 19 Jul 2010 07:27:08 +0000 http://dovgordon.net/?p=475#comment-296 [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Dov Gordon, Susan Oakes. Susan Oakes said: RT @DovGordon How to Control and Direct Any Conversation. (http://bit.ly/dyGSWX [...] [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Dov Gordon, Susan Oakes. Susan Oakes said: RT @DovGordon How to Control and Direct Any Conversation. (http://bit.ly/dyGSWX [...]

]]> By: Dov Gordon http://dovgordon.net/how-to-control-and-direct-any-conversation/comment-page-1/#comment-295 Dov Gordon Mon, 19 Jul 2010 06:28:49 +0000 http://dovgordon.net/?p=475#comment-295 That's great, Chris! Can you see the "structure" beneath this scenario? Because when you can see the structure you'll find the empathy even easier. Take a stab at it. Dov That’s great, Chris!

Can you see the “structure” beneath this scenario? Because when you can see the structure you’ll find the empathy even easier.

Take a stab at it.

Dov

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