Treatise: The Critical Importance of Being Unreasonable
Do you ever tell yourself “I need to…“, or “I don’t have a choice…“, or just feel frustrated that you’re not yet the person you really want to be?
Here’s what I learned: It’s critically important to be unreasonable.
Unreasonable defined: When you want – and expect to get – something you can’t have.
Being unreasonable is an entrepreneurial necessity.
When you think “I need this sale” you’re being reasonable. Stop it. Try this thought on instead:
“I need a business where I’m not needy of anything.”
“I need this employee.” Cut it out. Try this:
“I need a business where no one employee will make us or break us.”
“I don’t have time. That’s why I need to work 12 hours a day.” You’re lying again.
“I choose to work the hours that I do. And if I had 36 hours, I’d tell myself the same lies. What if I only had 6 hours to work? How would I guard and use every one of them? How would I be different? What would I do differently?”
Is it unreasonable to think you could get it all done if you only had 6 hours? Well, there we go again. It’s time to start being unreasonable. Be the person you WANT to be, but “can’t” be for whatever reason.
As far as I can tell, when you are unreasonable:
- – You focus your thoughts and energy on what you CAN control now.
- – You focus on what you CAN do TODAY.
- – You accept responsibility for your life, for your choices and behavior.
- – You focus your thoughts and mind on images of the person you WANT to be instead of dwelling on your weaknesses and who you’re not.
- – You start acting that way right now.
- – You FIRST figure out where you want to go, and THEN you work to get there.
- – You make time for what’s truly important to you FIRST and let everything else fall into place.
- – You refuse to allow others to make irrational demands of you.
- – You expect life to be DIFFICULT and so you don’t shrink in the face of possible failure or hardship.
- – You refuse to accept “advice” and guidance from people who don’t have your best interest in mind.
- – You don’t allow others to get you worked up or upset. You remember that they are just being who they are in the moment and you can’t change them. So you focus on what you can influence.
- – You refuse to give into pressure to rush when you know that the natural order of things will insist that you either go with the flow, or drown in it. (For example: You can’t rush a sale because you need the money.)
Looking back, this whole idea about being unreasonable is sounding very reasonable!
What do you think? Where have you started being unreasonable? And how has that improved your entrepreneurial life? Talk back below. And consider using the retweet button over there—–>
Sigh – and a deep one…I think I have to read this one again…ok, now I will try and comment on this. The first issue I had it remained the major one until I read this “You can’t rush a sale because you need the money” is the part where you state that being unreasonable is not needing the sale because I can do the business without it. The way I came to senses with this was: entrepreneurial ist all about independence and thinking about my own business and nothing else. Along with this taking full responsibility for everything. And if I ask myself this question now: “Axel, have you really been an entrepreneur yet, then the honest answer would be: NO.” So lets start changing this now. In fact I have made the first attempt today by taking matters in my own hands in terms of the business start and any business I can conduct even without the website, corporate identity…etc.
Sorry for the long answer but it is difficult to shorten this. (Your own fault as you have come up with such a provocative thesis!)
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Yes, I am unreasonable and possessive. However, wanting to control everyone and everything does not sit well with everyone else.
Axel, as always, thanks for your comment. Long or short.
Dov
Hi Filona,
Yeah, people don’t like to be controlled or “possessed.” What I’m talking about though is being *unreasonable* with yourself.
Thanks for the comment,
Dov
“you either go with the flow, or drown in it. Thanks for the reminder. I think I learned this concept half a lifetime ago in a Herman Hesse novel. In reality, I guess I didn’t truly learn it since I too often seem to be swimming against the current.
Kind of reminds me of an old song “You can’t hurry love, you just have to wait” by the Supremes in the 60′s or 70′s.
Anyway, just started reading your stuff and find it quite interesting and helpful.
Hi Tom,
Thank you for your thoughtful comment.
Just yesterday I commented to someone how things I read 15 years ago and thought I understood are just now clicking into place.
Reminds me of the observation that youth is wasted on the young.
I’m real glad you’re finding my material to be helpful. May I suggest that you – and anyone else reading this with a business – take this three question survey? It will help me provide more free training that focuses on what you want and need.
Click here to take 3 question survey
Dov
I think you’re using the wrong terminology, and I disagree with a couple points you made.
1) I don’t think the distinction between your two attitudes is “reasonable” vs “unreasonable”; I think it’s more “small picture” vs “big picture”. Small picture = “I need this sale” = thinking only about the here and now; Big picture = “I need a business where I’m not needy of anything” = having a vision of where you are aiming to be.
2) Expecting life to be difficult is IMHO not a desirable trait. Rather expect success.
Hi Shaul,
It’s nice to get some dissension here.
Expecting life to be difficult and expecting success are not mutually exclusive.
I’ve seen many entrepreneurs who go out there expecting they’ll get by on their smarts, charm or because their product is good. They’re looking for things to be easy. And it kills them.
You’re an analytical fellow and I’m a consultant, so let’s create a 2×2 matrix:
Success: Expect it / Don’t expect it.
Difficulty: Expect it: / Don’t expect it.
Ironically, when you expect life to be difficult – and you expect to succeed, you plan, prepare and do what it takes – making life easier.
Thanks for your comment,
Dov
Hi Shaul and Dov,
In reading Shaul comments about expecting life to difficult it reminds me of the first line of the book “The Road Less Traveled” by Dr. Scott Peck, which is “Life is difficult.”
He goes on to explain that once you accept that “life is difficult” it changes your expectation that it shouldn’t be and stops an individual from the lamenting, worrying, blaming, etc. that comes from fighting that expectation.
Once we accept that “life is difficult” we transcend it. I read that book in 1986 and it literally changed my entire view of my life and world when I was 26.
Regards,
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